The A – Z of Parenting


A is for Authority (The constant struggle with trying to have any at all! Especially when you have a Toddler!)

B is for Babysitters (Find a good ones, you are gonna need them! Same goes for babywipes!)

C is for Coffee (It’s the only thing that keeps me looking like I have my shit together! Also; crumbs!)

D is for Danger (So much danger, everywhere, and you only realised this once you had kids!)

E is for Energy (The unfair distribution between kids and their parents. Also Elbows; kids have such pointy, hurty elbows!)

F is for Fun (Never a dull moment!)

G is for Guilt (For every little thing!)

H is for Happiness (Friday night pizza and movies, the wonderful things they say, the beautiful cuddles, and when they finally go to bed! Also hand prints, sticky ones, everywhere!)

I is for Illness (Being constantly in that place between Someone just getting over illness and someone else now coming down with something!)

J is for Jokes (Kids tell absolutely awful jokes and you have to pretend to laugh at them, I don’t know why but this seems to be the rules!)

K is for Ketchup (Put that stuff on EVERYTHING if you want them to eat!)

L is for Love. (Also; Luggage, which is the only accurate way to describe all the stuff you have to take with you every time you leave the house!)

M is for Money (Which you will never ever get to spend on yourself ever again. Also mess, so much mess!)

N is for ‘No’ (The most frequented word in the parenting vocabulary. Also; Naked, there is always one who seems to have a clothes aversion!)

O is for ‘OMG!’ (OMG he is so cute! OMG she is so funny! OMG I don’t know where to start! OMG why is the baby planted in the plant pot?!)

P is for Privacy (Bye Bye privacy!)

Q is for Quarrels (She looked at me! He touched that cushion! You gave me the wrong colour cup! Also, that beautiful but at times alarming sound; Quiet!)

R is for Rocking (Not the funky, cool or musical kind of rocking, just the rocking you do even long after your baby needs rocking, even when you are on your own without a baby, is it habit or madness? You aren’t quite sure!)

S is for Sleep (One day you will get some uninterrupted again, same goes for sex!)

T is for Tired.

U is for Unbelievably Tired.

V is for Very Unbelievably Tired.

W is for Waiting (who knew it could take so long to put on one sock? OrĀ  to get out of the front door? Or to get into bed?! Also; washing, they’ll be more of that than you ever imagined!)

X is for xehilegafbdxqz \dfyqeir; exjfi’prw fhxio (The random text messages the kids send to your boss, a random acquaintance, that person whose number you have but you really don’t want to have to talk to again!)

Y is for You time (which you need from time time if you are going to keep your sanity!)

Z is for Zillions (The amount you love them!)